Warning: This Post is Not for Poop-Sensitive Readers!
With all This Manure, I Should Have One Heck of a Beautiful Garden!
With all This Manure, I Should Have One Heck of a Beautiful Garden!
The one-year old baby has a very special talent. She can poop without taking pause, grunting, concentrating, getting tense, or otherwise letting anyone know what she is up to.
Last night, the baby got out of the bathtub. We just always bathe all three girls at once to keep life a little easier. So, the baby gets out of the tub and runs down my hallway. She is just booking it for the living room, giggling as she goes. I was just a few steps behind her because I had paused to help the other two girls out of the tub. They were running behind me, giggling too. We were all trying to catch the happy nakey butt baby.
I turned the hall corner and froze. I grabbed the other two girls before they flew past me as they were still running. When I stopped them from running down the hall, right into the path of poo, they were puzzled and protesting. "You girls should thank me! Those three brown nuggets on the floor down the hall are not presents!"
Yep. The baby, true to not pausing to poop form, just pooped on the fly as she ran giggling down the hall. There were three perfect little piles along her running path trajectory.
The sad thing is that I am not a stranger to having to clean gross poop events.
When the 5 yr old was almost a toddler, she discovered her full diaper during naptime and painted the crib and walls.
When the 2 yr old was about a year old, anytime she had a stinky, she would shed the diaper faster than you could get to her to change it. We had a dog at the time.. You would notice a naked baby running around with stinky butt, then you would find an oddly empty foul smelling diaper... That dog had a full supply of breathmints and we never let that dog give us kisses. Eww.
Oh, and let's not forget the first time I changed my first baby's stinky diaper. She was two-weeks old and the husband had gone to make a Wendy's run for dinner. So, I put the baby on her crib changer. Her bed was in our room in the beginning. As I lifted her squirmy legs, she chose that exact time to poop again. And, it PROJECTILE squirted all over my face, hair, and my bed behind me. A nice down-filled king-sized comforter, just splattered. I started crying, the baby started crying, it was terrible. My husband walked in, dinner in hand, to find a soap and water flooded laundry room (I had quickly tried to jam the comforter into a small washing machine...oops) and me and the baby sitting in a shallow bath just sobbing. Now, it is one of my funniest and somehow fondest memories. Then, it was just horrible!
Did I mention that yesterday's hall leavings were an oddly shiny dark green? What has that baby been eating??!
Last night, the baby got out of the bathtub. We just always bathe all three girls at once to keep life a little easier. So, the baby gets out of the tub and runs down my hallway. She is just booking it for the living room, giggling as she goes. I was just a few steps behind her because I had paused to help the other two girls out of the tub. They were running behind me, giggling too. We were all trying to catch the happy nakey butt baby.
I turned the hall corner and froze. I grabbed the other two girls before they flew past me as they were still running. When I stopped them from running down the hall, right into the path of poo, they were puzzled and protesting. "You girls should thank me! Those three brown nuggets on the floor down the hall are not presents!"
Yep. The baby, true to not pausing to poop form, just pooped on the fly as she ran giggling down the hall. There were three perfect little piles along her running path trajectory.
The sad thing is that I am not a stranger to having to clean gross poop events.
When the 5 yr old was almost a toddler, she discovered her full diaper during naptime and painted the crib and walls.
When the 2 yr old was about a year old, anytime she had a stinky, she would shed the diaper faster than you could get to her to change it. We had a dog at the time.. You would notice a naked baby running around with stinky butt, then you would find an oddly empty foul smelling diaper... That dog had a full supply of breathmints and we never let that dog give us kisses. Eww.
Oh, and let's not forget the first time I changed my first baby's stinky diaper. She was two-weeks old and the husband had gone to make a Wendy's run for dinner. So, I put the baby on her crib changer. Her bed was in our room in the beginning. As I lifted her squirmy legs, she chose that exact time to poop again. And, it PROJECTILE squirted all over my face, hair, and my bed behind me. A nice down-filled king-sized comforter, just splattered. I started crying, the baby started crying, it was terrible. My husband walked in, dinner in hand, to find a soap and water flooded laundry room (I had quickly tried to jam the comforter into a small washing machine...oops) and me and the baby sitting in a shallow bath just sobbing. Now, it is one of my funniest and somehow fondest memories. Then, it was just horrible!
Did I mention that yesterday's hall leavings were an oddly shiny dark green? What has that baby been eating??!
To be fair, those nuggets were actually green. Don't have a clue as to how...
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