Do NOT Make Eye Contact With Your Kids. Or at Least Not With Mine

I Have Learned My Lesson The Hard Way:

It Is Almost NEVER a Good Thing To Make Eye Contact With My Kids.

It may sound weird or harsh, but I have learned over the years that nothing good can ever come of making eye contact with my kids. At least, not during certain scenarios. Now, to be on the safe side, I try to avoid making eye contact with them at all costs.

This is especially true in the following situations:

• When one of my children falls down.  I have to look at them from the corner of my eye to make sure they are ok. Then, I clap. And cheer. Otherwise, my kid is going to fall to pieces and yell and cry and act foolish. IF I make eye contact, the boo boo that they could have brushed off and continued on their way with just becomes this ER worthy scratch full of drama, etc.  I add the clapping bit because it startles them out of being upset they fell and makes them smile and look around for what's going on.
• When they crawl into bed with me first thing in the morning. It is technically their time to wake up and get the day started. But I am really tired.  If I don't look them in the eye and smile, I can convince them to lie quietly and snuggle for 15 minutes. As soon as either I or my husband make eye contact, it is all over. The kid wants to smile and sit up and flirt with you and the possibility to doze 15 more minutes is gone. (By the way, dear... I love how you wake up all smiles when the kids come hug on you first thing, but please.. don't keep making eye contact. That last 15 minutes of rest is precious to me!)
• When driving in the car.  Again, you realize all of a sudden that your car trip has become unexpectedly quiet and peaceful.  You glance in the rearview mirror to see what's going on or if the kids have fallen asleep.  Big mistake! You just caught one of the kids looking at you. You made eye contact. Now, within 3 minutes of this happening, your backseat will break out in pandemonium. This happens every time. Now, I try to just let the kids be magically quiet without my interference or eye contact.
• When your child does something naughty that is downright hilarious.  This is one of the few times that you should NOT make eye contact while scolding your child.  When you make eye contact, one of you will twitch trying not to smile, and then it is all over with and you are trying to contain your giggles. That is just not effective for behavior modification.
• When your child is FURIOUS at a sibling.  I don't know how universal this one is. But I do know that when my 3 yr old is mad at her older sister, I cannot make eye contact with her. If I do, she gets into big trouble. Something about my gaze makes her come take her frustration out on me. Then, we get into a stand-off. It is just really unpleasant.
• When your child is off playing happily by themselves or with their friends.  Don't ruin your peace by making eye contact. They will then decide to come bug you.
• When you are enjoying a snack or treat that the kids can't have. Or you are eating something right after they have snack and they are supposed to wait for the next meal to eat.  IF you get busted sneaking a mini Snickers, etc.. do NOT make eye contact.  If you can, pretend to do something important instead. Otherwise, you will get begged for a treat, snack, etc.
• When you are on the phone. NEVER make eye contact while you are on the phone. It is like inviting your kids to come have a conversation with you while you are already talking to someone else.

I love my kids. I do. And I spend plenty of time with them. And I make eye contact with them often. Just never in those above situations if I can help it.