This Blog Needs a ReName

I am SAHM

The Poop Chronicles of a One and a Half Year Old

Or, Why I am Glad I Coupon for All My Free Soap and Disinfectants.

I know, I know. ANOTHER POST about baby poop. SO SORRY! Don't Read it if you are squeamish. This one is the worst, yet.  I was thrilled to PIECES that this story happened out of town while visiting friends and family. (note the sarcasm)

One such friend is childless. I am sure I reinforced why during our visit last week. 

Last week, maybe due to traveling, who knows.. but last week, our soon to not be a baby 18month old had bad tummy problems. She went 6 days before she had a productive.. movement.  I tried all the tricks in the book to help her out... juice, watermelon, lots of water, milk (she has my lactose intolerance), and even the q-tip and vaseline trick...I am sure it is exactly what you are thinking it is... you know..  like taking their temperature.....if you can help stuff get started on its way out, sometimes that is all it takes... going in and getting a little out... usually, with my other two, that particular trick resolved the original problem within about 2 minutes.... no such luck this time. All it did was traumatize the baby... poor thing!!!!

So, I decided not to try that one again. I knew that I had one option left before having to take her to the dr... Baby Pedialax. AND! It was CHOCOLATE Flavor! I was desperate. My baby was crying and sometimes screaming in pain on regular intervals. We would be out in public, and she would walk up to me, pulling her shirt over her head, and crying "MAMA! PLEE!  POOP! HELP! PLEE!!"  But nothing would happen other than she cried.

So I gave her a dose and a half.

Her tummy gurgled all night long. I know this because she got into bed with me the third time she cried in fifteen minutes.  It was a fitful night. 

Finally, at about 7 am, she stood on the bed and her face got red. She said "POOP!" and I heard her diaper get loaded. HOORAY!

Whew. 

Only, we were not at our house, but in the guest room of the family and friends we were visiting.  (A family member who rents a room out to a friend...)  So, I made a quick decision NOT to change the baby on the bed or the floor, but to change her on the fold out Princess foam sofa that our family bought for when my kids visit. This thing has been great for 5 yrs.  And, it had a zip off slip cover just in case.. desperate times and all that.

So, I lay the baby down and start to change her diaper. Only, in the middle of taking her diaper off, she looks to the right and sees the vaseline and goes into melt down panic PTSD mode.  I tried to calm her and reassure her that I was NOT going to do that again.. that she had gone potty and I just needed to wipe her.  At 18 months she was having none of that. SO, she stood up. OF COURSE!

And, since I had just woken up, I had a night shirt and under things on. When she stood up, she pushed the dirty diaper right into my lap with her foot. Poo all over my legs and lap and well you get the point.  Then, while I was trying to wrangle her, she reached behind her saying "POOP! POOP! HELP!" and tried to get the poop off her herself. And got it on her hand, in her hair, on her clothes, in my hair, just everywhere. Then, she got still.

Thank Goodness. 

Only Not.

Round TWO of POOP landed right on me and the Princess sofa.

I was just shocked. At this point, our family member came in to check on us. She saw the situation and started to try to help. I sent her away. I mean.. no sense in her getting covered too. She went to make sure I could keep my modesty in tact while I ran half naked to the shower with a naked poop covered baby. She got our friend to go lock themselves in their room for a few moments so we could dash.

Once in the shower, we had to borrow a bar of soap and use it places even soap shouldn't go. Several scrubbings and wiping of the tub down later, I was finally ready to step out of the shower and dry off so I could then get the baby out.  She likes to sit in the spray and play.  She started playing with a toy. Only, there weren't any toys around. Yep. You guessed it.

Round THREE.

So, I wipe the tub down and start cleaning her again. 

She peed on my foot.

Then

Round FOUR.

Finally, after a hundred hours later, we were both clean, disinfected, scrubbed, and dressed. And the baby was thoroughly diapered.

And the tub and shower was disinfected, rinsed, wiped down, and scrubbed again. 

Oh, and that bar of soap went into the trash. Guess I will be couponing for a replacement! :)

It really really is one of those hilarious situations in hindsight.  And, the baby was supposed to spend some time in a baby nursery that day so I could take a nap. I was sooo tempted to send her along and let others deal with the poop for the day... but I felt too guilty about thinking about doing that. So I kept her home and took her to Shoney's to eat free at the breakfast bar. 

After all, she had about 10 lbs to regain.