They Are Smarter Than We Are... And Some of Them Even Know It...

Or, How I Almost Lost My 3 Yr Old When She Tried To Bail Out of My Moving Vehicle.....

Hello, Blog World! Miss me? I missed all of you! It has been a crazy life.. yes, crazier than usual, if you can believe it.. but enough of that.. on to the norm.. the crazy norm.

My 3-yr old has figured out what takes most kids many many years to figure out.. most don't even figure it out until well into their teenage years... that hidden truth.. you know the one... the unspoken one... 

EACH GENERATION SEEMS TO BE THE TEENSIEST SMARTER THAN THE PREVIOUS GENERATION... OR AT LEAST THEY THINK THEY ARE!  

Our parents blamed the internet or MTV... I think my generation will blame YouTube and I Phones or Twitter or whatever... But, here goes:

My 3 yr old has that terrible habit. She always says "Are we there yet? Are we there NOW?"  

So, I thought I outsmarted her. I started replying "Yep. We sure are."   At first, she would sit there a little confused. You know, the car was still moving, or we were at a red light, or since when did we move in to the Mc D's drive thru line?   Then, she got the humor and would giggle and it would make her be quiet for a while. She "got it" that she needed to be patient and quit asking and that it would be obvious when we "got there".  

Then, one day, she asked "Are we there yet?"  I replied, "yep."  And she was solidly quiet.  Nothing. Nada. Just the cold dreadful silence of a 3-yr old deep in scheming thought....

The next day, she asked "Are we there yet?" while we were cruising at a steady 55mph down the highway.  I replied smugly and happily with my "Yes, honey, we sure are."  (Did I mention how happy I was to have discovered this set of responses to that particular age old question? Once I found that response, I cut having to respond to that question from about 20 times each car ride down to just once per trip! I am so very smart!)

BUT OH NO! THIS TIME SOMETHING HAPPENED!

My daughter says very straight laced, "Ok, Mommy. I am going to unbuckle now and open my door now then."  She starts to fiddle with her buckle just enough to let it make noise and PANIC MOMMY!!! while she reaches for the door lock... 

I start freaking out and all but yelling "NO! Don't MOVE!  WE ARE NOT THERE! Do NOT OPEN THAT DOOR OR UNBUCKLE! OMG! STOP!!"  I am having kittens and about to have a heart attack... when all of a sudden these little evil giggles erupt from my back seat...

"I know, I know, Mommy. We aren't there. I just kidding."

Lesson Learned. Don't be a sassy mom. Oh my goodness. Those kids are way too smart. WAY TOO SMART FOR THEIR OWN GOOD!  Please let me survive their childhood!

Now it goes like this:

Are we there yet?

Yes We are. But don't unbuckle or Open your door. Because we aren't really there.

SIGH.

Another Day in Paradise

Or, I Thought Having to Bathe the Kids 3 Times On Monday Meant the Next Two Days had to be Easy Peasy.. Right? Wrong.

This Post is to be split into little tidbit sections.. You know, for maximum absorption and enjoyment. You're Welcome.

1. Dear Baby,   There is NO TREASURE IN THE TRASH. I am sorry. There isn't. Also, the trash can is not as magical or mystical as you may believe. Things you want to replace, hide, or get rid of don't magically get taken care of when you plop them into the garbage. It is not the best place to keep the tv remote. It is not the place to hide your brand new pack of expensive baby wipes because you don't want to have your nasty butt changed. (She gets rashes when I use off brand).  It is not the place to put your sippy cup when it is empty and you are wanting a refill. And, I do not actually appreciate your help when you take your clean diaper off and throw it away. Don't say "Yay" and clap. While you are at it, please quit putting your hands down the backside of your diaper. Given your proclivity towards certain body functions, I dread finding a special kind of finger paint on my walls one day.  
2. Dear Almost 3 Year Old, Thanks so very much for not vomitting on me today. It was lovely how you managed to hold off long enough for Daddy to run in and get you a throw up bowl while I sat next to you with a cardboard Happy Meal box (full of chicken nuggets, fries, and apples I was trying to tempt her to eat) in front of your face. I figured it was better for you to puke on the dinner you weren't going to eat anyway than to get it all over my shirt as you usually manage to do during one of these spells... Anyway, thanks again! 
3. Dear 5 Year Old, It was so sweet of you to tell your sick sister you would be her servant all day today. Whatever she wanted, you would fetch for her. Then, when she said she really wanted her Tramp stuffed dog, it was really swell of you to offer her Minnie Mouse as a substitute.. you know.. because you didn't feel like looking for her Tramp dog. The thought was there though, and I know your sister appreciated it.

 So, I guess out of the many lessons learned today, my big one was that just because you give your kids 3 baths one day, does not mean you get any "get out of bathing the kids for 3 days" cards. And, yes, there was tons of laundry to be done today as well.