The Baby Is Equal Opportunity on Cleavage

A Post About Cleavage

And Hand Warming

Just to catch you up, my 18 month old has been weaned for about 9 months, give or take a month or two.  

She has gone from embarrassing me by trying to nurse through my t-shirt when I am holding her out in public.. to reaching in my shirt and trying to "free the girls"... on to now just simply shoving her hands into my bra and cleavage to just keep them there... to warm her hands possibly?

This is a bad habit that is getting out of control. It is really hard to stay modest. Also, as the baby is in a clingy mama mood, she wants me to hold her all the time. Which gives her more opportunity to warm her hands in my cleavage no matter what type of top I am wearing.  It is a little disconcerting when she does this while we are hanging out with friends. When I am in public, I can fool myself into thinking I blend in with the scenery and no one is noticing. When you are at a friends' house and it is just two couples and the kids, it is very obvious what the baby is doing.

I think it is funny for now, but if the kid starts actually flashing nipple or something, I am going to be up a creek. This is one of those things they don't tell you about before you have children.  

Today, this cleavage hand warming habit took a turn for the worse.  I was crouching in the kitchen trying to make sense of a cabinet that has way too many mixing bowls and pots and pans in it. When I had opened the cabinet, I got a cascade of cookware.  So, I was perched there, trying to organize it a bit... when all of a sudden... my pants must have been pulling a plumber thing.. bc all of a sudden I had icy fingers down that cleavage. I jumped! Brr. Those fingers were toasty.  And, I didn't realize these jeans did that. 

So, finding out that these jeans do that before I make a faux pas with company around? As Charlie Sheen would say, Winning!

Getting icy baby fingers in yet another cleavage of mine? Not so much.

So, take this as a warning: Should you choose to have children, your baby might decide to warm her hands in any cleavage you present to her or that is "handy".  Buy extra baby mittens.. even for summertime.